Feeling lost? Not sure where you’re going in life or how to get there? Carrying a sense of hard-to-explain unhappiness, feeling displaced? Hold on. It’s all part of finding the right Doorway…
All of those sensations of feeling displaced, yep, know ‘em well. In fact, it was those exact, hard to make sense of feelings that turned my own engine over, with just enough sputtering to kickstart the most important enquiries of my own life.
And many, many people who cross my path in healing sessions, talk story gatherings, courses and workshops all tell of that same inexplicable feeling of “wrongness” – out of step, out of place, out of belonging, not devastatingly unhappy but not high kicks happy either.
Lostness isn’t a bad thing. The experience of it can be really disconcerting, destabilising, wobbly and frustrating leaving you future-fearful, but in the checks and balances, it isn’t a bad thing at all.
In fact, some might say it’s a necessary rite of passage that we have to come to grips with if we are going to “make it” up the mountain.
Lostness is part of our survival instinct. Ever been lost travelling overseas or even in your own neighbourhood shopping mall and couldn’t find the way out? The very first thing we all do is start looking for a way to solve the problem. We look for the way out. Our innate instinct is self-preservation. Our pule/prayers are all about “save me from…”, “show me how to get out of…”
THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT.
Lostness and spiritual survival are partners in Spiritual Revival. One is necessary so the other can survive, thrive and continue. That’s the natural way of things. Continuance. But it’s how we continue that’s the important thing here.
Because we know we can’t continue as we’ve been – that presents itself in the Lostness. The Lostness begins our search for the right Doorway for us. To find it we might open many doors, go inside, stay a while, even years sometimes, before we find ourselves still feeling lost.
THAT’S NECESSARY TOO.
Every door we open helps us find another part of ourselves. Sometimes we’ll like what we find and do more of it, sometimes we don’t and we can either go down that same spiral into the nadir, or we can take action and do the real hana/inner work needed to heal what doesn’t fit with how we want to be in life. We can spiral into the nadir, the dark night of the soul, but we can’t stay there. Sooner or later we need to emerge. We emerge through the healing we do. We emerge through the inner learning we do. We emerge by living what we find out about ourselves. We live in alignment with a force greater than ourselves but of which we are also a necessary part.
That’s what we find out when we enter those spaces. We confirm it. Even if the first set of doors isn’t our final landing place. They’re still necessary. A needed part of our own return to the essence, the true nature of our own existence and our place within Existence itself.
THE FORCE IS WITH YOU.
When we feel Lostness, we’ve lost our relationship (not our connection) with the lifeforce/mana of Existence. We’ve forgotten ITS true nature and therefore obscured our own. Our families and friends can be wonderful people, but no matter how wonderful they all are, if we feel out of step with something unnameable but of which innately know exists, we’re out of step. And you’re the only one in the whole of Existence that can put things right.
THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MOMENT.
That doesn’t mean H-E-L-P isn’t available to you and you have to go it alone. That’s what the Healers and Teachers are for. And then of course there’s the Ancestors. They’re on your side and you’re never alone when you have a pilina/relationship with them. But you’ve got to cultivate it, just as you would any relationship.
And every time you open the doors, even the wrong ones, if you’re doing your inner work (and opening wrong doors is part of that inner work), trying to find THE Truth, trying to find clear space within, trying to find peace, trying to find the pilina/relationship, the Ancestors see it and recognise your effort. Effort is always important to them. They will reach out to you. You reach out to them through Pule/ Prayer – that’s your doorway to them. Pule/Prayer is the container that you create, into which you invite the Ancestors, make space for them, tell them the problem, tell them the help you need and then ask them to show you the way.
YOU WON’T FIND THE WAY IF YOU DON’T DO THE WORK.
That’s the bottom line. You won’t find the way, no matter how many times they show you because you won’t RECOGNISE where they are taking you. And that’s a major reason why people stay in the cycle of Lostness and keep going through the wrong doorways. They don’t recognise all of the ho’ailona/signs, the spiritual taps on the shoulder, because they don’t have the grunt to keep doing the inner work.
They sell themselves short, self-soothing by filling up on the same “it’s OK to stay here” stories that started their movement away from Lostness in the first place. Not knowing how to self-soothe is a problem because it keeps you in false-soothed patterns where you keep doing the same, or more of, the downward cycle behaviours, but you tell yourself they’re somehow different. You make up a paradigm to fit the pattern.
Which means you stay in Lostness…
Sometimes you’ve got to kiss a lot of Frogs to find your Prince or Princess. Each time you do, you learn that the Frog is not the one for you. The Doorways are like that too. Always something to learn, but don’t stay there too long if it isn’t right for you. Stay a while. Learn, Heal, Grow, Change and then Move. When your healing reaches a certain point, then you will clearly recognise the right Doorway and have the right keys to open it and go on in. It will just FEEL right, like you have found where you BELONG.
You might’ve journeyed for a short time or a long time. You might have travelled far or just a few steps. It’s the movement that’s important. That’s the way of all things in this Universe.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.
Because it already is. That’s what the Doors are. They all open inwards…Aloha x
Hmmm, what next Kumu?
- If what you just read seems to resonate or irritate, reflect, reflect, reflect. What is it about this article that’s getting under your skin either way? Can you put feeling words to it, even vague ones. Try to identify and name your feelings
- Go quiet. Take a walk. Sit a while. Contemplate where you are and where you feel you’d like to be – even if it isn’t all that clear. That’s another point of enquiry – what’s getting in the way here?
- Find a skilled Helper to guide you through where you are – the SoHAD Wise Guides have years of experience helping people and they’re always deep in their inner work too. So they know…or find someone close to you that you vibe with
- Come to our monthly free gigs which we livestream – get on the Newsmail list so your get an invite. Like minds help like minds 👉🏽 join our Commune-ity here
- Maybe you want to do a course with us. The Spiritual Intelligence Courses are all about this type of thing – you can DIY with help from US when you need it. You just reach out. Or join our Path to Pa’a Course which is our Hawaiian Spiritual Teachings from our unbroken Lineage. We have preserved them and share them. You can also do this course DIY, self-paced or jjoin a livestreamed class. They are the Foundation Teachings upon which we can learn to build a strong foundation for spiritual living and happiness. You don’t have to be “fully into Hawaiian Stuff” to join or ffind what yuo need…
- Another way to extend on your earlier reflections and going quiet is to do a Traditional Ho’oponopono Session – both Kumu Julia Nālani and Wise Guuide Deborah Rose Hālani do Sessions